Why I Suck at Dating

Provo.

The place where every eligible person is a contestant on the Bachelor/Bachelorette. And no one gets the final rose.  No one actually ever gets a rose. And no one is eliminated. Constant competition. Welcome to dating hell.

I just finished a date that had potential only to realize it would never go to the next level. And these are my thoughts on why:

1. The "post date text."

I literally just told you on my doorstep that I had fun, and thank you for taking me out, that I hope to see you again.  Why would I text you the exact same thing? Repetitive much? Not down.  If I did have a good time, you'll get a text the next day. But why is it so odd that I don't send a thank you text 5 seconds after I just told you all of this? Confusing.

2. Friend Zoned

Not sure how I do this, but I know that I somehow manage to place every person I meet in the friend zone. Especially to guys that I like. Sorry bout that one sweetheart.

3. One-on-One

I am terrified to be alone with a boy. A real wonderful friend of mine pointed out to me that whenever its going to be just he and I, that I get this terrified look on my face. Deer in headlights on drugs. So that's probably not helping boys feel confident about themselves. 

Why oh WHY did Elizabeth Smart engrave the fear of being kidnapped, rapped, and almost murdered into my head? Now I just fear for those things when I'm alone with a boy.

4. The Fall.

Most people meet someone, think they're a total BAE, ask them on a date, three dates and a couple hangouts later they're dating. Its a quick process where they get right to the heart of dating someone. 

I never do this. It always starts as friends, and the I hope that slowly, something progresses. This way also is harder as you have to somehow get out of that friends zone, and fall in love. I'm still working on the technique. Not recommended.

5. I laugh at everyone's jokes.

Deceiving. Makes the boys think I like them all. 

Which could be true...let them think about that for a bit.

6. Competition

You have a million girls chasing after you, 

You are busy with school, work, church

You have an awesome spiritual side. 

You are the dreamiest and there are many girls who are aware of that.

I just CAN'T compete with all them. I mean...he probably doesn't want to spend his time and effort with a girl who can be a flake, cries over 'deaf babies that hear their first sound' YouTube videos, and never cares about the amount of fruity pebbles I eat a day. 

"I literally can't even."

7. I'm blonde, I run, I'm smart, and I'm LDS

Huh...sounds like a girl you know? Sound like every girl you know? Probably.



8. Plethora.  
There are too many people here. You don't have to commit or work through a rough patch. Why? Because instead of putting in the effort to get to know someone, or work through a fight you can just wait two minutes and pounce on the next little hottie that walks by.  Because there WILL be another around the corner. 

So. I think there is room for improvement there.